it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Are we still banned from the library?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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