i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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