Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
