I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
