theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
