I wanna bring you to show and tell
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
