He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
