i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
