Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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