I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
