Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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