we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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