marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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