i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
