Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
my vag is so smooth its legendary
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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