Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
That accounts for only three of the penises
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
