I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Apparently you make a good broom.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize
