What did we do last night that was yellow?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
