i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
