I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
