I need help removing her.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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