One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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