he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
As shirtless as possible
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
