The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
