when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize