I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
