Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
