if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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