Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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