It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
