I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
