i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
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