Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Randomize
