a queef is a wish your heart makes.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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