omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
