are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
