I'm drive I can fine osifer
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
