I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize