The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
