we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize