He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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