i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
