You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
