so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
