first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
