Heybabeimwearingurpanties
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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