I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
pray to the hookup gods
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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