so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
