dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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