I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
