He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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