he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Randomize
