we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
