hotel room ftw
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
