how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
