I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
