Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize