Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
