susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
