Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Randomize
