I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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