Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
