I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize