theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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