Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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