This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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