Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
