is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
