Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
