I didn't shave. On purpose
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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